Be Still

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. Pondering what direction I want my future ministry to take, what direction I want my life to take...what direction God wants to take my life.

I actually sat down to write about my thoughts on ministry. But as I thought about what I wanted to say, my mind took me in a completely different direction. The direction it took me was "stillness"

Being still, as anyone who knows me will attest, is not something I do well. I've always got this thing to do, or that place to go, or this person to meet, or a million other things that keep me running. And when I do get a "free evening" to myself, what do I do? I read a book on music history, I tinker on my computer - there is always something to be done.

And I wonder if that's really healthy (my friends tell me it's not). In seminary, one of my professors spent almost 4 weeks on the subject of a Sabbath rest. There was a lot involved in it, but the main focus was: resting in God. Taking a day, an evening, an hour to do nothing but rest in God.

I can honestly say that is something I do not do enough of. I rush through my devotions at times. I pray while driving - which makes it very difficult to focus on God. I'm now asking myself why. Is it because I have over committed myself, because of my inability to say 'no' or is it because I am scared of what God may have to show me.

In the stillness of resting in God am I afraid of hearing what God might actually want to say to me? How would it change me? How would it affect my plans for life, the ministry and everything?

I honestly do not know. I just know that I do not spend enough time resting in God. That I do not take time to put life on pause and just listen for God to speak to me.